My recent blog ‘The great Ghan’ received an appreciative response from Yorkshire reader Tony (see comment). However he did take issue with my assertion that the Barmah bush hat doesn’t work for non-Aussie males in the same way as it does for the national. My quote: “Non-antipodean guys in a Barmah, or worse cheap imitation bush hat, simply don’t cut it. Wrong hat, wrong head, wrong hombre. You can tell a ‘wannabee’ a mile off.”
In submitting evidence to support his challenge, Tony kindly provided a pic of himself sporting his very own Barmah. Very kind of you indeed Tony, and hope you don’t mind my taking the liberty of publishing it here. See feature pic above. To be fair Tony I think it’s a good effort, but without wishing to lose your valued readership, I do think it serves to support my case. Others may no doubt come to a different view. I recognise the hint of ‘cool’ and definitely the ‘rakish’ demeanour. However what gives it away is the curl of the ear. That head does not live in that hat, unless (and do forgive me if this was the case) your ear is unfortunately fixed in that position due to playing hooker in pub level rugby or from regular physical chastisement as a child. Fortunately in more recent times, the excruciating parental ear twisting seems to have been replaced by withdrawal of pocket money. At the time however, I think I would have gone for the short-lived stinging ear twist, rather than losing my cash for the weekly 3d bags of pineapple chunks and aniseed twist.
Anyhow, on examining you in your hat, I couldn’t help thinking that’s what Lord Lucan might have looked like if hiding incognito out in Humpty Doo or similar. Whilst you obviously look far too young to possibly be the disappeared aristocrat, can I just check – you’re not him are you? How wonderful it would be if my casual blog comments on a hat had provoked the long hunted Lord to blow his cover. There’s not a reward out for you is there?
My second thought is that your look would be perfect for an Arthur Daley Australian spin-off. And following the sad loss of George Cole, who better to play the part than yourself Tony? “The world’s your Moreton Bay Bug Tony” as the Aussie Arthur might say.
My third and final thought was of the Cat in the Hat. Interestingly he was characteristically cool and rakish.
As further evidence to support my case that the Barmah bush hat should be left where it belongs – in Australia, in the bush and on an Australian head, I include images demonstrating some epic fails from personalities who really should have known better. I leave you readers to judge, but Tony please don’t throw away the hat!
Most intriguingly can I say, I find the Barmah style looks good on the fairer sex wherever they lay their hat.
Ken's Eye 
Well Ken you’ve put me in good company with your selection of Barmah models and your observations about Lord Lucan perhaps confirm my mothers long held assertion that the family has (illegitimate) aristocratic connections -so you never know. I will concede gracefully on your original assertion that “Non-antipodean guys in a Barmah, or worse cheap imitation bush hat, simply don’t cut it. Wrong hat, wrong head, wrong hombre. You can tell a ‘wannabee’ a mile off”. However I was very satisfied to find a pic of an Aussie who looked worse in his Barmah than I did in mine (emailed to you).
Your reference to the pre corporal punishment days of child chastisement brought rueful memories back. For kids of the fifties and sixties physical parental punishment was commonplace. Our parents had emerged from the second world war and childhood misbehaviour often brought swift but measured physical retribution with many a recipient, now adult and verging on elderly, claiming “it never did me no harm!” Certainly in Hunslet which was my childhood turf chastisement had its own vocabulary. Ears were not twisted much, although the threat of receiving a thick ear was quite common. The most frequent threat, occasionally carried out was that ones misbehaviour would lead to a crack being administered. Now younger readers might get completely the wrong idea at this point as the term crack has altered significantly from 1950’s Hunslet vernacular, to something very different in the mainstream today. So the threat from mother to son ” to behave yoursen if tha dunt want a crack” was a warning that a slapped leg was heading your way fairly rapidly if one didn’t desist from ones nefarious behaviours – such as twisting the TV channel knob from BBC to ITV repeatedly. Ah Happy Days! As for Arthur Daley – certainly happy to go to casting for that part. Minder down under! theres a thought. We could call the new series “the Wizard of Oz. I think I’d better stop there. Your train and blog have moved on and I have to catch up.
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